I've just returned from another week of Sesshin. During this Sesshin, the earthquake in Haiti happened. I guess it was on Day 2 of the Sesshin. Hogen Roshi would talk about it in each day's Teisho (a talk given by a Zen master during a Sesshin). As our hearts and minds opened through the week, he would take a little time to describe the tragic situation as the events unfolded.
We were not being bombarded by any images of it the way anyone who saw TV this week was. We therefore did not have to use any of the subsequent modern-life coping mechanisms of compartmentalization or numbing out. We just heard about the suffering, and with many hours to sit in silence, we absorbed it.
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At Sesshin, we do oryoki at every meal. Oryoki is essentially ritualized, mindful eating. Each person has their own set of bowls and utensils which they individually clean after the meal, thereby preventing spread of germs. It is an ancient practice, pretty handy for use in those old monasteries of thousands, and still plenty useful today.
Oriyoki Bowls from Kanzeon Zen Center
Oryoki, once I stopped feeling like I was on the verge of a panic attack at every meal for fear of doing it wrong, has become a lovely experience. There is chanting before and after each meal, and built-in opportunities to cultivate generosity. For example, we place the spoon handle and chopstick handle ends facing away from us as a way to show that we are offering our food to others.
Oryoki requires slowing down. The process gives plenty of time to just observe the food prior to eating, and it requires some consciousness about those all around us. Oryoki also reveals thoughts and feelings of enough and not-enough, as well as an opportunity to experience and differentiate body hunger, mind hunger, mouth hunger, eye hunger, heart hunger, etc.
We use a small amount of hot water -- about a cup or less -- at the end of each meal to wash out our own three bowls and then we wrap the bowls and utensils back up. Great Vow uses three bowls, and usually there are two or three food items that leave a varying amount of residue, no matter how well you scrape your bowl with your little spatula utensil. So the hot water at the end is really needed to clean the bowls. It always ends up a little cloudy with whatever has been cleaned from the bowls. It is optional to take a couple sips of this water before it is then collected by the tall bamboo containers that get passed down the table. That water is then reverently offered to a tree outside the kitchen.
At this point, there is a chant:
We use this water to wash our bowls,
It tastes like heavenly nectar.
We offer it to the many spirits to satisfy them.
Om maha ku sha laya Svaha
I recall someone at a Mindful Eating retreat expressing her aversion to everything about oryoki (which I find quite understandable), including and especially the fact that we "drink dirty dishwater" at the end.
I had a powerful experience after lunch one of the days. As I was taking my sips of "dirty dishwater", I clearly, viscerally understood that this small amount of water, were it in Haiti this day, could have sustained the life of someones baby for perhaps another day. This realization was nearly overpowering.
I found myself beginning to cry. And by the time I was able to leave the Zendo, I ended up on my knees on the floor by my bed, just weeping. The tears were of sadness for the suffering and loss, as well as deep gratitude for being given this life for just a few more moments-- thanks to this bit of water and everything, everything else that I have been given, beyond that last cup of water, is so clearly just extra.
This was not an experience of guilt, but one of deep, profound gratitude. I experienced gratitude for everything I looked at and touched, but mostly, experienced gratitude on top of gratitude for this practice, which is what enables me to even see the truth of that water, the truth of how precious everything is. How is it that I am not falling to my knees every moment?
May the people of Haiti be free from suffering.
Please click here to donate to Mercy Corps, a Portland-based international relief organization currently assisting the people of Haiti, and relieving suffering all over the world.
