Fearlessness

I did it because I said I would. I met with my professional support group in October, and somehow it came up -- the fact that I had always wanted to take an improv class -- but had never ever verbalized this to anyone.

So I signed up.

I noticed how nervous I was beforehand. I had this urge to load up on a couple glasses of wine, actually. Interesting.

But then when I got there, most of the other people had also never done anything like this before. And the instructor, Brad, was really wonderful. He made the whole thing feel very safe and manageable. He has a master's degree in anthropology, and focused on the anthropology of improv. He just graduated. Here he is, introducing and participating this this improv exercise called "freeze tag."



But the thing that struck me most with many of the exercises and principles was the similarity to Zen. I have since discovered that people have already written books about these similarities, but I certainly felt it experientially.


For example...

Just This Moment: Improv is not actually about staying ahead of what is happening -- it's about being with exactly whatever is happening right now. It was so much like the experience I have waiting for my turn at Sanzen. Rehearsing what I want to say. Shaking out my thoughts and trying to stop rehearsing. Rehearsing. Trying to stop rehearsing. Hearing the bell that indicates it's my turn, then focusing on what is happening in my body, and just the experience of moving and sitting down and allowing whatever comes up to come up. Responding to whatever actually is rather than my thoughts about it. Past and future? Rather fatal in improv. Speaking of the past...

Inner Critic, Thanks for Sharing: Dwelling on the past is not helpful in this endeavor. And many of us would flub something up and say "I'm sorry," causing us to become self-conscious and stop the flow of action. Brad credited an improv instructor in the Bay area who suggests that we instead say, "I'm sexy!" Now that's some wholeheartedness! And also that "mistakes" can be used, transformed, and actually fuel something wonderful. No trash.

Generosity: Not trying to be funny, not trying to stand out and take credit and strengthen my identity, but to broaden my attention beyond my small self, blend my voice, my contribution, into a much larger being. Tuning in to all of us as one being, and supporting others in the process.

It was also extremely energizing. And fun. So I decided to take the 7-week class.

And what's really wonderful is that I have little to no goals here. The connection to Zen practice helped me decide to actually do it (it's hard for me to justify doing anything "just for fun"). I have no plans to continue beyond this class, it's not to help me win friends and influence others, I don't expect I'll come out if this with a quick wit, or be a hit at parties. I'm just going to class and participating.