The Challenge of Right Speech

"Right Speech" SoulCollage card

"Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else but let there be no gossip or criticism of one another."  

So goes part of the closing of a 12-Step meeting.  It is what I see practiced, for the most part, in so many humble church basement rooms.  While not a perfect program, and not for everyone, I have observed people changing their lives dramatically for the better, becoming more sane, empathetic, and grounded through the 12-Steps.  People do seem to live with this and many of the aspects of the program as a guide to doing less harm to our fellow travelers along the way. It is inspiring, and I wondered how a norm like this might be adopted in a Sangha, or in a life.

After all, we do have a few precepts about this.

Googling around, I found something:  The 21-Day Complaint-Free Challenge.  There is a book, a website, and some writings here and there on people's experiences with trying it out.  So, after reading a little of what was available for free online, I figured I got the concept, thought, 'I will take this up!'

And then I publicly said so on my Facebook page.  

This was before I quite realized the difficulty of what I was taking up.  You wear a purple silicone bracelet from the Complaint Free World people, or you can use a rubber band -- I am using mala beads.  You switch the bracelet to the other wrist with every verbal occasion of:

~ COMPLAINING ~ CRITICISM ~ SARCASM ~ GOSSIP ~

And with every switch, you start over at Day 1.  So it's not likely to be a 21-Day challenge, unless you're on a 21-day silent retreat.  It is, for most people, a 4-8 month challenge to accumulate 21 consecutive days that are complaint (and criticism and sarcasm and gossip) free! 

I caught myself complaining a few times the first day.  Then soon discovered it would be much harder to get to Day 2 than I had realized. Many times I caught myself complaining before 9am. I remained on Day 1 for about 9 days.  This is apparently a normal trajectory.    

I made it to Day 3 today before heading right back to Day 1.  

I have been sharing my progress (or lack thereof) with Facebook, but this may be a better venue for that.   

Welcome, again, to Day 1.